she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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