you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
