she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
