these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
