Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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