Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
