she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
