So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my poor anus
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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