everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
