Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
