shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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