That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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