I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
