Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
