The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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