my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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