Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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