Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
