the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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