The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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