I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
