Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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