I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
