im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
