I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
