Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
