i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
