Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
