i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is it because I queefed?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
