All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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