Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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