I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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