I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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