two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
