420 ftw
I wish you could order shots online.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
