hell yes lets make some ravioli
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
