Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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