Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
