Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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