he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
