yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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