she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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