Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
