that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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