I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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