She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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