I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
