One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
