i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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