CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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