I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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