dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
North Korea, Best Korea!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
