Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
