I need help removing her.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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