Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
