This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
