All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
