We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
