Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
