We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
do herpes really smell.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
