Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
