so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
