Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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