sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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